Celebrity male model The Bear recently met up with GQ to talk a little bit about his life, as well as his recent "reality photo book" project...

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Theodore, or should I call you the Bear?
You can call me "The Bear", or just "Bear" would be fine too.
A lot of people think that "Teddy" is actually short for Theodore, but it's not.
Actually "The" is short for Theodore. Thus, "The Bear".
I hate when people call me Teddy by mistake. Teddy is a pussy name.

Can I get you anything? A glass of water or soda?
No thanks, but I'll take some honey if you have it. Ha. Just kidding. 
It's actually a terrible stereotype that all bears like honey. 
It's almost as bad as assuming all older African American TV stars eat Pudding Pops.
I blame the media for that one. 
I'll take some Kool-Aid with vodka if you have it though.

So Bear, how did you get started in this reality book business?
My agent was shopping around the idea of having me star in a reality TV show. I'm REALLY into reality TV shows.
My only caveat was that my fabulous kitten, the beautiful beautiful Orange & White, had to co-star in the show with me. Unfortunately Orange & White didn’t test well with focus groups, so the deal was dropped. Soon after though, I was contacted by celebrity photographer Wanda Varony, and she explained to me her hopes of producing a "Reality Photo Book". With all of my work in modeling for print, the project was going to be a perfect fit.

 

Who would you say you are BFF’s?
Well Orange & White is obviously my one and only BFF. He can be sort of needy, so I really don't have time for anyone else. Time is a real crunch these days, between my modeling career, the new "reality books", and the 6-8 hours of video games I try to fit in each day, I really don't have a lot of extra time. I used to be really good friends with the squirrels, but we had a falling out. I do (and you may have noticed this in "Meet The Bear") have a re-occurring worry that I have a lack of friends. This feeling is especially strong when I get really bored. Although, when the boredom subsides, I'm usually glad the god-damn squirrels aren't calling me every minute and making me feel guilty for not going out. All they do is go to the bar every night. God-damn squirrels.

Where did you grow up?
I grew up in a small river town in eastern Iowa called LeClaire. They are world renown for their annual "Tug-of-War Festival", you've probably heard of it. The “Tug-of-War Festival” is bigger than Christmas there. I'm pretty sure "Tug-of-War" is the state sport of Iowa.

What are your parents like, and what is your relationship like with them?
My Dad worked in a dog food factory all of his life. I remember that he used to come home smelling like dog food every day. It would smell up the house the moment he walked in the door and just linger for hours, the same way that the smell of fish lingers after you cook it.
My mom was a grocery store free-sample lady. 

They split up when I was in high-school, after my Mom had an affair with the butcher at the grocery store she worked at. We are in contact much. The last I did hear, she was traveling the east coast as a professional sea-shell collector. My Dad and I are really close. We get together at least twice a month and go gambling at a nearby Dog Track. My Dad and I love gambling on the Dog Races, but mostly we just think that the place has the best nachos this side of the Mississippi.

These "Reality Photo Books" are a new thing. Is it taking off? 
Yeah it has been quite successful. I think our next endeavor is going to be "Reality T-Shirts". You know, that way people aren't restricted to just having the stories of other people's lives on their coffee table. They will be able to have and share the reality everywhere. I’m not sure of how the logistics of that will work. But as a beginning we’ve begun selling regular t-shirts.

I've seen you in the US Weekly under the "They’re Just Like Us" section, where they put in photos of famous people doing things that we regular people do.
You must have known you made it when you were in US Weekly!
I SAW THAT PHOTO TOO! Unfortunately, If you look closer, you'll notice I wasn't the focus of that photo. I just happened to be standing behind Lindsay Lohan while she was "Shopping for apples at the Minimart- Just Like Us".

In the making of "Meet The Bear" what was it like having all those camera's around?
I got used to it fairly quickly. Being a professional model, I'm fairly used to that sort of thing.
The rest of the world isn't so used to it though. Wherever I went a small “scene” would take place. I thought that people were all gathering and staring at me because I'm so good looking/awesome, but really it was just that they were confused at what the hell was going on.

We had a joke around the office here that maybe the girl bear from your office (see:“Meet The Bear”) was only waving at you because  you had so many cameras around.
So you’re saying that the girl bear was just waving at the camera, and NOT me!?
Son-of-a-bitch! 

Did you feel a connection with the girl robot in "The Bear Goes on a Date"? 
Oh, HELLS no! That girl is way too into getting married and having babies.
Ok, maybe I'm just resentful because she sort of dissed me at the end of the date.
We had a good time, but I don't think that the whole "internet dating" thing is really for me.
There is something very contrived about the whole experience. When you meet someone naturally, it seems much more like fate. The internet experience is deprived of that whole romantic aspect of “fate”.

Internet dates feel like a job search. You setup a profile, which really acts like a resume.
Then you meet, which is like a job interview. Then you wait around for a call back, and even though you may not even want the job, your self-esteem is damaged when you get rejected.

In “The Bear Gets Laid Off", did you have any idea that you were really getting laid off before you went into work?  
Well, in "these tough economic times", nothing is for certain. [The Bear laughs for about 3-4 minutes]. I'm just kidding. Wouldn't it be funny if I really said things like that? Seriously, who says things like that! [The Bear starts laughing again].

No, I didn't know. Not that it was really a big deal. So what, now I’ll have to get a job elsewhere.
It's not like when I go home, the beautiful beautiful Orange & White isn't still going to be there.
And after all, isn't that all that REALLY matters.

Did  you really sleep with Sally from HR?
I have no response to that. A bear doesn't kiss and tell.

Looking back on this whole experience, how do you think your life has changed? 
Are you kidding me? I have my own t-shirts now! How awesome is THAT!

Are you going to be featured in more reality books in the future?
I think we'll see how many T-shirts we sell first, then I'll consider if it's worth doing more books. Then again, I don't have a job now, so what else am I going to do?